How Much to Give Distant Family Member for Bar Mitzvah
How much money should you give for the upcoming Bar Mitzvah?
The million-dollar question (pun intended)…
… What'southward too much money? What's besides little?
… Can you lot give a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah souvenir instead?
… And what'southward the deal with the whole "multiple of xviii" affair?
Don't worry, this article will get rid of all your confusion…
How Much Money Should You Give for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
You should give the Bar Mitzvah money in multiples of $18. The number 18 translates to "Chai" (חי) or "life" in Jewish numerology. Substantially, you lot're blessing the young boy/daughter with a long & successful life.
For example: instead of giving $50, give $54. Instead of $100, give $108 and so on…
"OK, but how much should I give EXACTLY"?
Offset of all, keep in mind that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is Non a hymeneals…so don't exist in a rush to take out a mortgage for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah cash gift.
Remember: You lot're getting a gift for a teenager. They don't demand a lot of money, nor should they get used to getting lots of money at such a young age (just my personal opinion).
When you're trying to decide how much money to give, ask yourself:
- How close are you to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or his family?
- What are the social & cultural habits of this family or community?
- How fancy is this Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony?
If you lot barely know the kid and his family, then $50-$100 (or $54-$108) is definitely OK.
However, if you're their uncle and the Bar Mitzvah is at the Hilton, then that souvenir amount can cause you to lose your "favorite uncle" condition.
A skilful rule of thumb is to accept the amount y'all would've unremarkably spent on a birthday nowadays and multiply that by 1.5. So, if you would've spent $100, then $150 sounds about correct (or $144 to stay in line with the "multiples of 18″tradition).
Here'due south a tabular array to articulate out the confusion:
| Relationship | Souvenir Amount |
|---|---|
| Classmates & Friends | $50-$75 ($54-$72 in multiples of 18) |
| Afar Relatives or Acquaintances | $50-$100 ($54-$108 in multiples of 18) |
| Close Family & Friends | $100 or higher |
Tip: The aforementioned holds true if y'all're non physically attending the anniversary. Sure, yous might technically exist able to "get abroad" without sending anything. But ask yourself this: "If the state of affairs was reversed – would you like information technology if someone close to you didn't nourish your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah, AND didn't send a gift on acme of it?"
Per Person or Full?
Claire asked a very skilful question in the comments: "Is the gift amount given per person?".
The reply is: usually, yes… but it depends:
- What if you're attention with kids?
- What if it'southward a distant relative?
- What if he's having his Bar Mitzvah in his lawn?
Evidently, in that location's no one answer. That said, in near cases, you'll multiply the gift amount Ten headcount.
Confused? Here's an example:
Let's say you're invited to a Bar Mitzvah ceremony of a afar relative, and he'south having it in a nice outcome hall. Yous're planning to attend equally a family of 4 (husband, wife and ii kids)…
If we follow the rules of thumb above – so we fit the "Afar Relatives or Acquaintances" bracket, which ways nosotros tin can settle for anything between $l – $100 per person. To keep things simple, let's go with $72.
Now, considering nosotros're attending with 2 kids, then information technology's totally acceptable to give somewhere between half and two/3 the amount you'd give as an adult: let's settle for $54 per child.
So, finally, our "complicated" math formula equates to: $72 ten ii + $54 x two = $252.
(Ugh, I hate math).
$252 is the amount I'll withdraw from the ATM… or, perhaps write a bank check?
This leads usa to the next question…
Cash or Check?
Bar/Bat Mitzvah or not – don't forget that at the end of the day – it'southward a teenager we're talking about here. And let'southward but say that teenagers aren't exactly famous for their intelligent fiscal policies.
If yous'd rather give the coin to the parents and have them make up one's mind how to invest the coin – it'south better to go with a check, rather than greenbacks. Kids at the age of 12-xiii ordinarily don't acquit checks, and they'll usually need the assistance of their parents to greenbacks it. In effect – you're ensuring the coin goes through the parents start.
On the flip side, if yous do want the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to spend the money every bit they see fit – then greenbacks is the preferred choice.
Should You Requite Coin, to Begin With?
Even though a cash souvenir is a very popular i, it's far from the only option.
And so, what else can you bring to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
In fact, if yous know the young Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and so perhaps you're amend off getting an appropriate Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah gift instead.
Remember almost it – a big role of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Memory is the gifts you received from your friends and family… Trust me – no one remembers the guy or gal who gave money in increments of $eighteen, just like everyone else did (unless you give a ridiculously high corporeality, in which case they'll never forget you).
If you already know the young Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you probably know things similar:
- What do they like (and don't like)?
- How religious are they?
- What kind of gifts volition their parents appreciate?
Think about that before you decide to give them greenbacks or a cheque.
Tip: Another great idea I've seen people do in the past is to become the Bar/Bat Mitzvah a overnice Tzedakah box, and chip in the first $18 (or more, depending on how generous you feel that solar day). That way, you become to take the cake and eat information technology too. Plus, you lot teach them a valuable lesson about the importance of giving Tzedakah.
Decision
A Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is a large bargain… and deciding how much money you should requite can be challenging… Just it doesn't have to be.
Remember, it's still a 12 or 13-year-erstwhile teenager we're talking about here, then no demand to go crazy and requite away ridiculous amounts.
Just remember to follow the guidelines I laid out in this article, requite the kid a decent Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift amount (in multiples of $18) – and you lot should be gilt.
Mazel Tov!
Source: https://amenvamen.com/bar-bat-mitzvah-gift-amount
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